Words & Phrases
by a girl with a golden back
Summary: They say "write what you know," but all he knew was her.


The blank notebook page seemed to taunt Logan as he lay in bed, his mind desperate to force the words out. With the rest of the guys out playing hockey at the ice rink, he thought this would be the perfect chance to work on the assignment their producer Gustavo had given them a couple weeks ago. Each of the four guys had to write a song, which seemed like a simple enough task, considering they'd been a vocal group for over a year now and had witnessed Gustavo write countless songs for them, but for Logan, it was proving to be impossible.

It didn't help that his friends had already gotten their songs in, it just made him feel like he was holding everyone else up, like their new record would be pushed back because of him.

James's song had been about pursuing a girl, big surprise there, while Kendall had written a song about being away from the one you love. Carlos's song had been a fast-paced, upbeat hip-hop tune that would no doubt be amazing to dance to. Each of his friends seemed to have their own experiences to draw from, each of their distinct personalities embedded in each song, and Logan just felt utterly clueless. As far as life experience went, Logan Mitchell couldn't have been more sheltered, and it didn't help that he'd never been the best with words.

He reached for the paper sleeve on his nightstand, a mixed CD that his friend Kandi had made for him in hopes that some new music would spark some creativity. The CD, along with the notebook he was attempting to write in at that moment, as her own way of saying thanks for getting her hooked up with her new agent, and it had been difficult for Logan not to overanalyze the gesture.

Briefly flipping back to the first page, his coffee-colored eyes read over her sloppy handwriting.

_"If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile, but any time you need a friend, I'll just be me."_

He was determined to not write the typical "falling in love with your best friend" song, even though it was pretty much the only thing he could think about.

Regardless, he figured he might as well get some use out of the gift, sliding the disc into his laptop and letting iTunes play the first song while he let his head loll back onto the pillow, his eyes drifting closed as the music filled his ears.

Everyone seemed to have already said the words he needed to say better than he ever could have said them himself.

Some of the songs were familiar; he'd heard them while riding around in her SUV, days spent navigating the streets of downtown Los Angeles instead of going to class. She was always the only one that could coerce him into breaking the rules, into doing the things that he was too afraid to do, even though they were the exact same things that he _needed_ to do. Most of the songs were hip-hop songs, and though it was a genre that he rarely listened to, the heavy bass was reminiscent of the way his heart seemed to thud erratically in his chest whenever she was near.

Logan was at a lost for words, but there were a few that were beginning to build up in the pit of his chest, forming a shout trapped at the back of his throat. These were the words he couldn't write a song about, the words that had the potential to ruin him, to expose him, but it was the words that made him feel his most vulnerable that were begging to be set free.

Even if they didn't end up being his song, maybe just the simple act of putting them down on paper would get them off his chest.

In the margin of the page, he scribbled down the different things that he loved about her. They were all little things, like the way she twirled her hair around her pinky when she was nervous, the way she was always trying to get him to loosen up, how she was smart without being a know-it-all like he tended to be. It was how she never seemed unsure of herself and how she tried her best to get along with everyone she met. It was the way she always sung in the car, even though she knew her voice wasn't the best and the ridiculous way she danced with him, like she didn't give a damn who was watching.

It was the way that he could have the shittiest day ever, but just talking to her made him feel like he was on top of the world.

It was the way she made every rotten thing about his life seem like it was going to be okay.

While his thoughts were still racing, he penciled them down. Just two simple lines was all it took to break the barrier, and even though it wasn't the song he wanted to write, it was the song he _needed_ to write.

They say "write what you know," but all he knew was her.

_You know this ain't me at all, I'm usually lost for words._

_You know I can't help but fall, I've never felt so sure._


End file.
